How do I deal with my group having issues with my character?

2021-02-22 14:13

p1I am fairly newish to DD. Our group plays every week and I have been a GM before. My character is fairly chill, chaotic neutral and will often get d

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  • p1I am fairly newish to DD. Our group plays every week and I have been a GM before. My character is fairly chill, chaotic neutral and will often get distracted for a few moments looking at something or talking to someone, as it fits into her character. She will often be the one to push the button in the middle of the room, or lick the wall etc. A real yes character trying not to block anyone else's ideas.p2p1The other players however, one in particular shut her down at every turn, undermining her to NPCs making out like she is annoying and pathetic and often at times it can get hurtful as it seems to be aimed at me personally.We get along great in real life but anything my character says Is shut down, even when my ideas are good, they will chat about it and then either do what I had said or ignore me completely.p2p1When everything is getting a bit too serious during times that are not serious, my character may do something to bring the story back to life. The GM loves it and will always let me go for it, as the story is richer and more enjoyable and I will feed more into some of the story elements he has done. The group however want to follow everything to the book.p2p1The campaign we are playing, I have been tasked with looking after the money etc from our group business, and even though it is my role (we all have our own), I get no say in anything ever. I don't even see the point having the role. As it is always 2 against me.I roll a lot of natural 20s and the GM will allow certain things and the group will straight up say no.p2p1For example tonight we were having a long rest, and my character was having a bit of fun and while they slept, put mud on their hands and woke them with a feather...when they woke they got a muddy face. Nothing major, just a little prank. It's not real. And one of them set their familiar onto me to attack, which I of course batted it away... I am a tabaxi, I have claws... the GM made me roll to hit it and with my roll it died (can be brought back with a spell). This is a great twist to the story!p2p1An ogre then attacked us due to all the noise they were making about it and the ogre ruined their tents, Instead of the characters continuing on, etc, instead they both start getting actual mad at me, blamed me for everything. Started using spells to grovel to them and trying to hurt me on purpose and leave me in the forest and go off and continue the adventure. Their words and behaviors actually made me the person feel so shit. It was not intentional and it was not permanent. I mean, is this not the point of the game, to have moments that you can not control, or you might fuck up etc.The person who had the bird has actually nearly killed my character by accident during the campaign and I didn't freak out and go on some kind or attack mode.p2p1The last few sessions I am not having a lot of fun, as one of the characters in particular takes over the entire story, tells you no if it's not what they want to do and the character is really not nice to play with. So serious and straight.I try to talk about it but often get shut down.Do you think I need to find a new group? I was actually nearly in tears tonight, it was embarrassing and it's a game - a game I take seriously but fun is supposed to be the main component.I love my GM and would be gutted but our characters do not seem to mesh well.p2
    p1We have only your description of the situation to go by, and therefore we can't fully know the situation. However, what I gather from your description is that your behavior is a very significant part of this problem.p2You are enforcing your own tone on the gamep1For starters, I recommend you to read about My Guy Syndrome, because it sounds like a significant contributing factor to the problem at hand.p2p1You describe your character thus:p2p1My character is fairly chill, chaotic neutral and will often get distracted for a few moments looking at something or talking to someone, as it fits into her character. She will often be the one to push the button in the middle of the room, or lick the wall etc. A real yes character trying not to block anyone else's ideas.p2p1I highlighted the last sentence because it gives me strong MGS vibes. While you take care to point out that your character is very permissive of other peoples' ideas, the way you're playing that character is also enforcing a very particular tone on the game. To draw a comparison: a singer in a barbershop quartet might allow anyone to sing in any key they like, but if they only sing in one key themselves, the others can't produce all the harmonies they'd like!p2p1For instance, suppose your fellow players want to play a serious fantasy story. You don't see people licking walls or pushing nuclear launch buttons in, say, Lord of the Rings or Narnia; certainly not the protagonists, at least! If that is the tone others in your group expect, the way you're playing your character is actively detrimental. Not permissive, but obtrusive.p2p1Other examples point towards the same direction:p2p1When everything is getting a bit too serious during times that are not serious, my character may do something to bring the story back to life.p2p1This sounds to me like you are putting in an effort to keep the game from becoming serious – taking into account that other players might want a more serious game than you, you should realize that your actions can be seen as directly counterproductive towards an enjoyable gaming session.p2p1For example tonight we were having a long rest, and my character was having a bit of fun and while they slept, put mud on their hands and woke them with a feather...when they woke they got a muddy face. Nothing major, just a little prank. It's not real.p2p1This is another example of you taking the tone of the game into your own hands. As you say, it's not real, but as you've seen yourself it's still very possible to ruin others' fun through it.p2p1In a nutshell, you frame the problem as the other players being too restrictive while you are just trying not to block anyone else's ideas. However, to me it seems you're repeatedly taking control of the game to inject your brand of silliness that the others seem not to want. I'd recommend taking a step back and really, really critically analyzing your own behavior and thinking things through before resuming play with the group.p2Setting expectationsp1There is no single right way or wrong way to play RPGs. The only thing that matters is that everyone enjoys themselves, and no one gets hurt. In order to do that, you must reach a consensus on what kind of a game you want to play: silly, serious or downright angsty? Hardcore tactics or freeform MacGyvering? Grievously hard, forgiving or something in between? Et cetera, et cetera.p2p1No consensus is ever perfect and there is no foolproof way to avoid conflicting expectations on what the game is going to be like, but you can reduce the amount and intensity of conflicts as well as ease conflict resolution by working towards establishing a culture of open communication around the table. Do not be afraid to tell the other players what you expect out of the game, but also listen to their expectations. Tell what you would like to happen, listen when they tell their side. Work out agreements instead of pushing your own way until everyone hates each other.p2p1One popular tool we use for this is the Same Page Tool. It looks like a survey, but it's actually intended to be used as a conversation starter among the whole group, not filled out individually. It covers a range of topics that are common points of strife in groups that do not discuss their expectations beforehand. Do not hesitate to fill in the gaps based on your personal experience: you should definitely have a talk with your group about whether the levity you've been injecting in the game is working as intended for your peers.p2p1Finally, I recommend beginning each TRPG campaign with a Session Zero, as well as having smaller discussion sessions before or after each or every other normal session, to continuously gauge the group's feelings and desires for the game. I'll stress that these are not things that only the GM should care about: everyone in the group can contribute to creating and maintaining a culture where you can work together towards the game that makes everyone happy.p2
    p1For a lot of people (myself included) Chaotic Neutral characters (or as a Dragon Magazine article once called them Chaotic Everywhere) can be a huge pain in the butt, especially for people who enjoy a more serious or in-character game without constantly being pulled out of character or having immersion breaking things happen to them. (I wrote a piece related to this (Point #5) you can find here if you like.p2p1It sounds to me like your party don't trust you or take you seriously, because you (from the limited info we have) don't give them a reason to.p2p1No, we don't trust the button-pushing wall-licker to come up with reasonable and sound solutions, because no reasonable or sound evidence exists to support this!p2p1You may love your GM, but it sounds like you might want or need to find a new group of players with an attitude more in line with your own, as it seems like you're both just going to end up causing each other grief to me :/p2p1Alternatively, it sounds like you have 3 players in your party? Could you possibly get a 4th and/or 5th to join, perhaps people more in line with your way of thinking and playing?p2p1Lastly, have you talked to your fellow players about how their behaviour makes you feel? I know this can be uncomfortable for many people, but they might just surprise you?p2
    p1Chaotic character alignments can be a lot of fun to play with. I've played a bunch over the years and had tons of fun with it. They can throw a ton of interesting things into the mix and really spice up the play. Or they can end up stabbed in the back by their team and left lying in a ditch.p2p1OK to be fair I was prepared for that one. We'd already had The Talk and decided that as fun as he was, my character was just too disruptive. I traded up to something that fit the group better and we rolled on.p2p1It all comes down to group dynamics. We've probably all been in situations like this, where one of the characters just doesn't fit the group's style. The Paladin that just won't stop charging into stupid situations. The rogue that keeps sabotaging everything you do because it's what he'd do. The chaotic character who just can't keep stop themselves from bringing down pain and failure on the rest of the group. That one player that just won't stop trying to overpower everyone else because they have to win at everything. All toxic, group-breaking behaviors if left to fester.p2p1The solution? Talk to your group. Figure out where the problem is and what you can all do to fix it. Tell them what you think is going wrong and negotiate with the other players on a mutually satisfactory solution. Mutually satisfactory. Don't go in expecting to bring them around to your position, this is about making things better for everyone.p2p1And if it means you end up rolling up a brand new character when your current one gets kicked out of the group, then that's what you do. Hopefully your old character doesn't end up in a ditch like mine did. Maybe one last shiny button will bring some satisfaction to the survivors.p2p1At the end of the day your group is there to have fun. If you're not having fun and they're not having fun... you might be doing it wrong.p2

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